Internal Notebook • Miki Hasegawa SIGNED
Softcover, halfhidden spiral binding, various inserts, handbound, edition of 500, approximately 9"x7", 228 pages, 88 photographs, 16 inserts, 17 folds, 2019, Ceiba Editions.
Shortlisted for the Book Awards at les Rencontres d’Arles 2019.
Limited Edition Print Choices:
Print 1 (above)
Print 2 (above)
In March 2016, the Japanese Academy of Pediatrics announced that they estimated 350 children across the country died due to abuse. According to the Ministry of Health, Education, and Welfare’s tally, roughly 90 children per year die due to abuse, including forced double suicide. So 260 children’s deaths are being overlooked.
This girl, who experienced violence and abusive speech in the home from the age of 3, is suffering hearing loss as an aftereffect. This boy’s younger brother was killed by their father when he was five, and he continued to suffer physical abuse after that. When this girl was in the second grade, she was left to live alone with only a 10000-Yen note, with no water or electricity supply, and she personally requested help from Child Services.
The men and women who I met told me: “I wasn’t left with any large, visible scars or bruises. The physical violence and abusive language I experienced for many years, the mental control, the sexual abuse, the negation of my individuality, and the neglect, aren’t visible, but they leave major scars which don’t go away. It’s hard to take, but other people can’t see this pain.” They suffer depression, self-harm, dissociation, panic attacks, PTSD, and other ailments, but one cannot see these injuries unless one actively looks for them. And they have written in notebooks about their hard-to-understand emotional pain.
The “Internal Notebook” is a notebook of the emotional cries of children raised in abusive homes. Hasegawa has taken portraits of them, along with the diaries and notebooks they have kept.
She has also tried to show what their parents were like by arranging their childhood photographs and important possessions that evoke memories of those days. It seemed to her that their parents were no different from the rest of us in thinking that we were normal parents.
The people in this book do not only feel hatred and resentment toward their parents. There are those who feel anger at themselves, unchangeable sadness, and even question whether they must forgive their parents as they desperately keep themselves alive. So we can see that the ones who tormented them were not just their parents but other adults in society as well.
Miki Hasegawa, born in 1973 in Fukuoka, Japan, lives and works in Kanagawa.She earned her B.A. degree in Human Environmental Science and in Design from Showa Women’s University, After working as an architect for several years, she started working as a professional photographer. In recent years she has been expressing what exactly maternal love is, while dealing with the social issues facing Japanese women and children.
She was one of the 100 chosen for the 2014 the Review Santa Fe.
Her work, “Jewels”, was selected as one of the LensCulture Emerging Talents 2014 Top 50, and received high acclaim. Hasegawa’s first handmade book, “The Path Of Million Pens” has been selected as one of the finalist of 2014 Unseen Dummy Award. and is famous throughout the world, being selected for various global photography collection fairs. She is currently working on her own project based upon “child abuse”, a theme very close to her heart.